57. DEL

...he was actually the last person I expect to see here.
"Justin!" I said and then I hugged him.
"How are you?" he asked me.
"Good...what's wrong?" I asked him, because I saw his concern.
"Nicky left yesterday without saying a word and I can't get her on the phone, so she had to call you" I was looking at him while he was talking and I didn't know what to tell him.
"She's here right?" he asked when I didn't say anything.
"No..."
"She probably came to you...I'm sure about this! Where is she?"
"Justin...she left 3 hours ago" then he was quiet.
"But did she tell you, why did she left?"
"Yes, she did"
"Why?! Tell me!"
"She has to fix her problems"
"What problems?" he looked at me fearfully.
"She didn't tell you, did she?"
"Tell me what?" I knew I shouldn't told him this, but he had to know.
"She's pregnant" I said and there was silence. He sat down on the stairs and wiped his tears sliding down the cheek.





I sat down next to him.
"She was afraid to tell you this so she wanted to get through this all alone"
"Everything would be different if she had told me. I would help her"
"She always knew that you would do everything for her, but try to get her...she needs to fix this alone"

*END OF KIM'S P.O.V.*
Po parih urah sem prispela na Florido. Poklicala sem si taksi in odpeljal me je domov. Zunaj je bilo že temno, ko sem prišla. Počasi sem vstopila v hišo in pustila kovčke pri vratih. V pritličju ni bilo nikogar, ampak sem slišala neke glasove iz zgornjih sob. Tiho in počasi sem šla po stopnicah in na koncu hodnika videla rahlo odprta vrata, od koder je prihajal zvok. Slišala sem mamin smeh in malo tudi Timovega. Srce mi je hitro bilo, ko sem že potisnila vrata, tako da sem lahko vstopila v sobo. Vsi trije so ležali na postelji in gledali film.
"Nicky?!" je zakričala mama in se mi zagnala v objem. Oči je najprej začudeno pogledal in ko je k meni pritekel še Tim, je tudi on vstal s postelje in me prišel objet. Mama se je kar jokala, ko me je videla.
"What the hell are you doing here?" me je vprašala in si obrisala solze.
"That tour was too much for me, so I came home" še enrkat me je objela in šla zraven mene v mojo sobo. Tudi Tim se nama je pridružil.
"Oh honey I'm so happy to see you" je rekla mama in se ulegla na posteljo. Rahlo sem se nasmehnila in v tem je tudi videla mojo žalost.
"What's wrong? I can see your saddnes"
"I have to tell you something really important, but please not today" prestrašeno me je pogledala.
"Ok, we'll talk tomorrow. Go to bed now, because you must be really tired" mi je rekla in me prišla poljubit na čelo. Objela sem Tima, preden da je stekel ven, potem pa sta oba zapustila sobo. Vrgla sem se na posteljo in tako tudi zaspala.

Zjutraj sem vstala ravno takrat, ko je oči peljal Tima v šolo. Šla sem pod prho in si oblekla preprosta oblačila za doma ter si naredila figo.



Odšla sem do kuhinje, kjer je mama pripravljala zajtrk.
"Good morning" me je pozdravila in me poljubila na lička. Vsedla sem se za mizo in počakala da mi je naredila zajtrk, potem pa se je vsedla zraven in me pogledala.
"Now tell me"
"I don't even know how to tell you"
"I'm your mom...you can tell me everything, because I will always be your mother" odložila sem vilico in jo pogledala ter kar izstrelila.
"I'm pregnant"
Z debelimi očmi me je pogledala in sklonila glavo ter nekaj minut nič rekla. Po nekaj minutah se je oglasila.
"For how long?"
"For 1 month and a half, since Bill kidnapped me" vstala je in se naslonila na kuhinjski pult, ter se prijela za glavo.
"Oh gosh" tudi jaz sem vstala in stopila do nje.
"I know mom. Just please don't shout at me because I can't take anything right now. It's like I'm dying right now"
"Don't say that" me je prekinila in pogledala v oči. Imela je solzne oči.
"We can fix this ok? You'll go to the doctor and he'll fix this and everything will be back to normal" kmalu sem začela jokat, saj nisem imela več moči do življenja.
"It's so hard mom...I don't know what I have to do to make things right...I'm powerless for everything" sem ji rekla, ona pa me je objela.





"It's ok...we can do this together" me je potolažila in me držala v objemu.

*ČEZ 3 DNI*
K zdravniku sem šla že kar isti dan, ko sem mami povedala za nosečnost. Pregledal me je, potem pa mi določil datum za splav. Kim sem klicala samo toliko, da sem ji povedala vse kar se dogaja, ampak se nisva imeli časa pogovorit.

Bil je konec tedna in tudi dan, ko sem bila naročena za splav. Stala sem pred ogledalom in se en čas gledala. Bila sem zelo živčna, potem pa me je poklicala mama.
"You have to go, or you'll be late!"
Vzela sem torbico in šla. Objela sem mamo in stopila skozi vrata. Iz avta zunaj pa je ravno takrat stopil...

56. DEL

...Pred vrati je stal Justin. Začudeno sem ga pogledala, saj je bil zadnji, ki bi ga sredi noči pričakovala pred mojimi vrati.
"What are you doing here?" sem ga vprašala.
"I'm sorry. We're best friends but we are fighting all the time and I don't want that"
"I know" sem izdihnila in bolj široko odprla vrata ter ga povabila v sobo: "Come in"
Pogledal je posteljo in videl, da sem že spala.
"You were already sleeping" je rekel, kot da mu je bilo žal, da je prišel.
"What do you think? It's 2 a.m." rahlo se je nasmehnil, medtem ko je gledal v tla.
"Kia will come tomorrow and I'm gonna ask her for the truth" je rekel.
"And you think she'll tell you?"
"She'll have to" prikimala sem in se vsedla na posteljo.
"I'm sorry that I ruined our moment before" se je opravičil. Dobila sem solzne oči, saj se mi je zdelo, kot da mu to ni nič pomenilo.
"Don't worry, it didn't mean anything to me anyway" ko sem izgovorila ta stavek, sem gledala v tla, potem pa je stopil predme in počepnil pred mano.
"I don't believe you" je rekel in me prijel za roke.
"If you're gonna tell about this to somebody, just please don't tell this to Fredo or Ryan" je nadaljeval,  in takrat sem se zavedala, da se me sramuje. Potem pa sem vstala in mu rekla
"Don't worry Justin. It really didn't mean nothing. I won't say a word" stisnil je zobe in prikimal.
"Ok, see you in the morning" se je poslovil in šel. Šlo mi je na jok, ampak sem zadržala solze. Ulegla sem se na posteljo in zaspala.

Zbudila sem se okoli 5-ih zjutraj. Bila sem odločena, da zapustim Justinovo turnejo in se vrnem nazaj k staršem in opravim s svojimi problemi. Oblačila sem pospravila v kovček in se oblekla.



Pred hotelom je še vedno stalo nekaj oboževalcev, zato sem pri recepciji vprašala za drug izhod. Napotili so me skozi garažo, da sem prišla do ceste in si poklicala taksi. Izklopila sem telefon, da me nihče ne bi dobil, saj nisem hotela da kdorkoli ve kam grem. Na letališču sem si kupila karto za Ontario v Kanado, ker sem šla h Kim. Nisem ji povedala, da prihajam, ker sem vedela, da bo Justin klical tudi njo. Poskrbela sem, da me noben ni prepoznal.

*JUSTIN'S P.O.V.*
It was 7 o'clock when I woke up. I send a message to Fredo and then I got ready. Kia texted me a message that she's coming and Alfredo cami to me.
"Go check if Nicky's ready" I told him and he left. After 5 minutes he called me on phone.
"Nicky's not here" he said.
"What? Go check on the reception" immediately I called Nicky and she was unavailable. I went on the reception too to wait Kia. There they told us that Nicky letf for 2 hours ago.
"Why did she left!?" I screamed and I was so nervous. I couldn't get her on phone and I didn't even know where did she go.

*END OF JUSTIN'S P.O.V.*
Po poletu sem se s taksijem odpeljala do Kimine hiše. Počasi sem izstopila in začela hoditi proti vhodu. Pozvonila sem in vrata je odprla Kim. Ko me je videla je zakričala in mi skočila v objem.
"What the hell are you doing here?" me je vprašala.
"I have to take care of myself" sem ji rekla, potem pa sva šle v hišo. Luke je gledal TV, zato sem ga pozdravila, preden sva šli v kuhinjo.
"Are you hungry?" me je vprašala Kim in naredila nekaj za jest. Pogovorili sva se o vsem, razen o tem da sem spala z Justinom. Že naslednji dan sem nameravala iti domov na Florido in mami povedat o moji nosečnosti.

Zjuraj sem se zbudila okoli 6-ih zjutraj, saj sem imela ob pol 9. že let. Naročila sem si taksi, da me pride iskat okoli pol 8-ih. Spravila sem se.



Kovčke sem postavila pri vhodu in šla v kuhinjo, kjer je bila že Kim.
"Why are you already awake?" sem jo presenečeno vprašala.
"I didn't want to miss you" je rekla in me objela.
"And I made you a breakfast" je še dodala in me posadila k mizi.



"Thank you" sem ji rekla in pojedla zajtrk. Ves čas me je gledala.
"Why are you looking at me?"
"How can all bad things happen to good people?" je vprašala zamišljeno.
"Trust me, I'm not that good as you think I am"
"Me neither" začudeno sem jo pogledala, saj nikoli nisem zvedla za kakšno slabo stvar o Kim.
"What do you mean with that?" v trenutku je začela oklevat.
"Am...no...I just said that...because sometimes I lie"
"Did you ever lied to me?" sem jo resno vprašala, ker sem videla, da nekaj skriva.
"No...well you have to go, because you'll be late" je spremenila temo in pospravila krožnik z mize. Nekaj je skrivala in mi ni hotela povedat.
"Call me or text me when you come there" je rekla in me objela pred vrati.



"Bye" sem ji rekla in se vsedla v avto. Pred vrati je stala, dokler se nisem odpeljala.

*ČEZ 3 URE* + *KIM'S P.O.V.*
I was watching a tv with Luke, when somebody rang the bell.
"I'll get it" I told to Luke, when he was already trying to go to the doors. I opened the doors and there was Justin...

55. DEL

...poljubi so začeli postajati vedno bolj strastni.

 

Vstala sem in ga pogledala. V njegovih očeh sem videla, da si me želi, tako kot jaz njega.



Začela sem ga poljubljat, on pa mi je začel slačit majico, Nato si je slekel še svojo in začel odpenjati hlače. Ko sva bila smo v spodnjem perilu, me je dvignil in me vrgel na posteljo.



Poljubljal me je od vratu do trebuha, potem pa mi še slekel perilo. Drgetala sem, saj na to res nisem bila pripravljena. Še bolj pa z Justinom. Nehal me je poljubljati in me pogledal.
"Are you ok?" z rahlim nasmehom sem mu prikimala in mu slekla boksarice. Prijel me je za obe roki in takrat sem ga začutila v sebi. Pozabila sem na vse skrbi in se mu prepustila. Držal me je za dlani in zmeraj hitreje prodiral vame. Vse je bilo kot v sanjah. Niti predstavljala si nisem, da bi se lahko to zgodilo, ampak sem tisti trenutek samo uživala v tem, da sem z ljubljenim moškim.
Ko ni mogel več, se je zvrnil poleg mene in zadihana sva obležala. Čez par sekund je poskušal nekaj reči, ampak sem ga prekinila.
"Wh."
"...Don't talk...I want to remember that moment, but in silence".

Tišino je prekinil Justinov telefon.
"It's Kia" je rekel in se oglasil.
"Hey". Okoli pasu si je ovil rjuho in odšel iz sobe. Ko je nehal govoriti z njo je prišel do sobe in se naslonil na vrata.
"She'll join us tomorrow" je rekel in pogledal v tla. Prikimala sem in tudi js vstala.
"We must to talk about something" sem mu rekla odločno. Presenečeno me je pogledal. Ko sem začela govoriti sem se medtem kar oblačila.
"It's about that baby of you and Kia. It wasn't your baby" začudeno me je pogledal in postal živčen.
"Of course it was my baby, what are you talking about!"
"No Justin. It wasn't"
"How the fuck you know that!?"
"...Because I heard her when she was talking about baby, because they wanted a money"
"They?! Kia and who else?" močno me je prijel za ramena in bil je zelo jezen. Stiskal me je tako močno, da so me roke začele bolet.
"It hurts me Justin"
"Kia and who?!" je ponovil jezno.
"Ethan" v trenutku me je spustil in stopil korak nazaj.
"I should told you this before but that day you were so happy and everything was so messy..." kar naenkrat je s polno močjo udaril v steno, da sem se ustrašila.
"I wanted to left her, but I couldn't because I thought she was pregnant with me! And you tell me now that baby wasn't mine!"
"I couldn't!" sem se zadrla nanj, on pa me je močno prijel za roke
"Let me go!" samo držal me je in me gledal v oči.
"Justin!" sem mu rekla in potem me je spustil. Takoj sem šla iz sobe in zaloputnila vrata za seboj. Ko sem prišla v svojo sobo sem se vrgla na posteljo in jokala dokler mi ni zazvonil telefon. Bila je Kim.
"Hey"
"Don't hey me...you never call me"
"I know, I'm sorry"
"Ok, but I'm still angry"
"I'm sorry" sem še enkrat rekla.
"Something's wrong again right?"
"I told Justin for Kia's baby and he pissed off"
"Oh I can imagine...but what about your baby? Will you keep it?"
"Of course not"
"Well then you'll need to hurry, because it'll be too late for losing it"
"I know...I have to go now, but I'll call you"
"I hope you won't forget, bye"
"Bye".
Odložila sem telefon in se šla stuširat. Po sebi sem polivala vročo vodo in razmišljala o vsem tem kar se je zgodilo. Nisem obžalovala tega z Justinom, ampak to da sem mu vse povedala. Hotela sem čimprej končati ta dan, zato sem šla kar spat.

Sredi noči me je zbudilo trkanje. Vstala sem in šla odpret vrata...